Glossary: The average Filipino basketball player

Here’s the blog post that I was referring to yesterday:

Actor – He sees a basketball court but doesn’t have a ball with him. That doesn’t prevent him from playing. He pretends to have a ball and shoots it. Complete with follow through.

Caller – Foul! Traveling! Double! Seriously? Oh, my shadow touched yours, did I commit a foul?

Copycat – Mentions Jordan, LeBron, Kobe (and many others) while in the act of shooting the ball, mimicking the moves of the superstars. Can imitate Jordan. But there can only be one Jordan.

Court hog – Worse than a ball hog. Prevents other guys from playing by overstaying. Makes you wonder how high the unemployment rate is.

Go getter – Sees a guy or a group of guys playing. He approaches, then tries to get hold of the ball. Excuse me, but who TF are you?

Loner – Basketball is a team sport, but it’s not a crime to play alone. Not a real definition here, but you know what I mean.

Owner – He arrives, and plays. Doesn’t care if someone’s already there.

Playing coach – Tells his teammate/s, and sometimes also his opponent/s, what to do or what not to do.

Poker player – Not gonna play if there’s no bet involved.

Rock star – Batooooooooooooooo!!! The Filipino word “bato” means rock or stone, as a noun. As a verb, it means throw, or pass. The Rock star doesn’t really intend to fight for that rebound. He won’t even bother with the defense. He stays on one side of the court while his teammates are on the other. When an opponent misses a shot and his teammate gets the ball, he will shout “batoooooooooooooo!!!” May or may not utter the actual word.

Shy type – You know he wants to play with you. You can feel it. He’s waiting for you to invite him.

Soldier – In full battle gear: Kevin Durant jersey, LeBron shoes… the works.

Talker – He knows all the stats and the players. And keeps talking and talking about his knowledge. Basketball is meant to be played, first and foremost, not to be talked about.

The One – Feels he’s the best. If he is indeed the best, that’s another matter…

And, my favorite…

Bud – Plays for the love of the game. No bets, no trash talking, no air. Just pure basketball.

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